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Sir John Bourn - new job at Vogue?
As it is Christmas, TS shouldn't be surprised to spot 'accountancy celebs' around the vicinity of Oxford and Regent Streets in the West End. Nevertheless, TS was taken aback to see Sir John 'still at the NAO' Bourn strolling down Regent Street towards Hanover Square.
Sir John wasn't laden with gifts, but TS must mention that Hanover Square is home to none other than Odgers Ray & Berndtson, the hot-shot headhunters.
Was Sir John on his way to consider offers for a few non-executive directorships?
Maybe he'd just popped into Vogue - also on the square - for a photoshoot.
US taxman nabs nosy parkers
Those cheeky nosy
Over 500 were caught rifling through (electronic) files on
all and sundry, according to a new report.
They were mostly interested in checking out ex-spouses'
details and what their neighbours earned.
Still, it's not a patch on losing 25 million individuals'
details – so for once we've done it bigger and better than them across the pond.
KPMG copies E&Y annual report
Some have suggested that Big Four firms are all the same
(well, actually, that was TS).
But better evidence than this does not often emerge, until KPMG's
annual report came out today.
Hmm. Familiar, TS thought. Now where did we hear that
before? Oh, yes, was it...E&Y?
The cover of E&Y's 2002 annual report carried the strapline
'It's a state of mind'.
The Big Four - not so much competing firms as one state of
mind, we might say. And if none of the rest of them have used the line we'll be
very surprised.
Colin celebrates Crimbo with new recruits
Colin celebrates Xmas with some new recruits, although their use of crayons disturbs him slightly, view Colin here and also a related Taking Stock.
Winzip the key for HMRC
Back to TS's favourite subject: HM Revenue & Customs
(acting) boss Dave Hartnett. Dave put up a sterling performance in his first
grilling by a Treasury committee. Asked about the zillions of unopened letters
strewn across tax offices up and down the land, Dave informed the committee
that he recently spent a few days 'on the shop floor' in Cardiff among other
places.
He saw nothing of these piles, and asked the committee and
tax advisers if they'd help him find them. Dave then managed to non-plus his
interrogators by informing them that the well-known freebie file-squashing tool
- Winzip - was used to password protect THOSE missing discs.
If the taxman had used version 9 of the software rather than version 8, they could have encrypted the discs as well, he added.
The IT-illiterate committee members were bemused, while the rest just giggled at the use of such unsophisticated software. They should have upgraded from the free version.
Economia of scale for ICAEW's Clive
TS has noted lots of 're-focussing' at the ICAEW recently,
from its spanking new website to a thinned-out Economia in its logo.
But no-one told TS that job titles had been 'cleaned up' as
well. For example, Clive Lewis (with a nice new pic as well), head of SME issues at the institute is now head
of 'medium issues'. Then TS thought: perhaps it's just that Clive's job has
changed!
Rather than worrying about 'small issues' like running out
of paperclips or printer toner, Clive can now focus on medium things. He was
quoted about the effect of flooding on members' business - definitely a medium
issue for firms to watch out for. But who is head of 'big issues', such as
telling firms to keep guard against earthquakes and UFO attacks?
Maybe we've got it all the wrong way round and Clive just polishes the ICAEW Ouija board.
Deloitte global chief puts Age in its place…
We were thrilled last week to get a letter from James H Quigley, the global CEO of Deloitte, after an Age hack suggested that the Big Four are pretty indistinguishable. 'What differentiates Deloitte cannot be found on a website or in branded materials. In one word, it is people,' Quigley wrote. Difficult, um, for the rest of us to get much sense of that, though, isn't it? After all, E&Y is always telling us that it is putting 'People First' (TM). In fact, it's hard to chat to any senior Big Four figure without being wittered on to about how important the 'people' are. While TS is being curmudgeonly, can we also ask: isn't the term 'people' just another word for 'staff'? The word 'staff' might imply of course that the individuals are just grunts, employed by an uncaring capitalist behemoth. It might imply a subservient relationship.
Arctic rules don't add up
So many advisers have slagged off the newly-released
income-splitting legislation that even chief taxman Dave Hartnett would
struggle to find someone happy with the new rules. Don't forget he berated
Accountancy Age for not knowing that loads of advisers approved of HM Revenue
& Customs' battle against Arctic Systems, apparently.
But beyond that cheap shot at Dave (who's busy enough as it
is encrypting data discs), TS has been told on several occasions that the
Treasury's examples used within the legislation contain simple tax
miscalculations. For the example in box 1.1, Baker Tilly's George Bull was
concerned they had failed to consider corporation tax for 'Nina and Joe's'
imaginary business - which would have kept £9,000 from the Treasury's coffers
and which he described as one of a number of 'serious and misleading errors' in
the document.
TS is sure the Jones's of Arctic Systems fame would be pleased with this particular calculation.
KPMG surely unhappy over former IRS chief's blues
Spare a thought for Mark Everson, the beleaguered former commissioner of the US Internal Revenue Service.
Yes, yes, TS knows it is tricky to have sympathy for the taxman. The IRS is hardly anyone's best friend.
But Mr Everson has lost his new job at the Red Cross. That's right, a bit of compassion is in order. What did he do?
Well, admittedly, it doesn't look good. He had an affair, the Red Cross said, with a subordinate. Easily done, I'm sure you will all agree. Let's not take pleasure in this turn of events, though well we might.
Not even those of you at KPMG, who Everson took particular exception to over the tax shelter row. A solemn and respectful silence with regards to his highly embarrassing problems would be most appropriate, TS thinks.
The innocence of youth
Botswanan teenager Nilima Bhagi has become the youngest
person to achieve the AAT accounting qualification, TS hears. After teaching herself
two modules, Nilima passed her exams at the age of 16 after 16 months of
training - half the recommended time for the course, the AAT tells us.
Such precociousness could well shame all those other AAT
students still struggling to pass through the first couple of modules. But what's
of more concern to TS is that the AAT has opened the number-crunching floodgate
for this Botswana-based book-keeper. Nilima is setting her sights on CIMA and
ACCA qualifications.
She's already working as an in-house accountant for a
company that works with the government of
But she's clearly not learned the first thing about the trade: the sooner someone sees sense and puts her on the fast track to a partnership, where she can attend events across the globe while palming off the real work to some lowly minion.
CIMA staff know how to behave
CIMA has always been an institute with its eye on the prize
in TS' book and its Financial Management awards bash held last week was no
exception.
The institute made sure there was enough booze to put a
party political conference to shame on each table, but one of TS' most valuable
sources said that all CIMA representatives would be on their best behaviour
while the opening speeches and the awards were being given out.
TS kept a beady eye on CIMA's people but all of them were
incredibly well-behaved - shocking in TS book.
TS duly laid into the booze mountain that piled up as a
result, while listening to the comedy stylings of Sandy Toksvig.
Still, CIMA's abstinence didn't stop the institute's chief exec Charles Tilley making repeated mentions of the cash bar that would be operating if revellers somehow managed to drain their booze supply.
Gordo's slip of the tongue
TS feels that the PM is yearning for those halcyon days of yore, when New Labour could do no wrong and a chap could donate the odd million or seven to help a party out.
Now Gordon, we know it's been a tough couple of weeks-
apparently an HMRC double CD titled: 'Now That's What I Call a Labour Government
On The Ropes' went missing.
Gordo, who has mellowed from Stalin into Mr Bean, according
to Lib Dem Treasury spokesperson Vince Cable, was doing the decent thing and
apologising for the gaffe, but made a telling slip as he issued his regrets.
TS aced the pop psychology module at Gutter- Snipe
University, so its clearly obvious that in referring to HMRC as the Inland
Revenue, Brown betrayed his wish to return to a time when this was actually the
case.
Every action has consequences Prime Minister - maybe you should have thought twice about merging the taxman with the customs men in the first place.
Taxman gets a cold blast from Frost
TS is often distracted by Ken Frost, the Croydon accountant
who dubs himself 'The Living Brand'. Regular readers will remember Ken's
branded thongs (which say 'In your Face' on them) and his portfolio of websites
dedicated to agitating for his various causes.
TS notes that Ken decided to mount a full-time offensive
against HM Revenue & Customs, as clear a symbol as any of the state of the
political tide. When Ken attacks, you know you're in trouble.
Ken's site is called, somewhat indelicately, hmrciss****.com
(we can't print the rest, this is a family magazine, and those of you who old
enough can work out what the word is).
Currently, the site is top of our favourites list, behind
the HMRC staff rant forum, Disgruntled Lemmings (now offline, but available
from the google cache if you look hard enough).
TS thinks the ICAEW will probably like the site too. With Ken blogging about the taxman, he's taken his forensic eye away from the institute. But for how long?
AAT rebrand puts rest to shame
TS has been known to mock the institutes from time to time,
in particular over their attempts to rebrand and make themselves look all
shiny, new and 'street'.
Colin prepares for the Olympics
Colin talks about Deloitte's Olympics efforts. Click the pic or view here.
Prince Charles says accountants are 'jolly useful'
A recommendation from the highest possible authority: the heir to the throne. HRH The Prince of Wales has said how 'jolly useful' accountants are.
The prince, unveiling his Accounting for Sustainability report this morning, commented that he now had 'quite a few' accountants in his office. That's in addition to Sir Michael Peat, who hails from one of the most famous accounting families there is, in being a Peat of the Peat Marwick (and now KPMG) fame.
Accountants are, Prince Charles noted, 'jolly useful people'.
The audience purred. But then, it was chock full of members of the profession. TS noted Paul Boyle of the FRC there, alongside the NAO's Sir John Bourn, Jan Babiak from E&Y, Paul Druckman, the former president of the ICAEW and, of course, Prince Charles himself, who as an honorary member of the ICAEW, also sort of qualifies as an accountant too.
Say what you like about Charlie, he knows how to please his audience.
TS spots 'Accrual' online blog
Every 12 days, four hours and 22 minutes on the dot someone takes it upon themselves to show the world that, yes, accountants are dynamic, amazing, radiant people and not dull beancounters, contrary to popular opinion.
This time software vendors MYOB have taken on this noble mantle of responsibility
by launching a blog called 'Accrual World for Accountants'. Apparently the idea
of the project is to collect ideas for a 'science fiction novel' about a world
where accounting has been outlawed.
The idea is that this will deliver 'a story about how
accountancy proves to be inextinguishable, how its practitioners answer the
call, ris to the challenge and emerge as the saviours of freedom and democracy'.
MYOB hopes that the blog (accrualworldforaccountants.com) will 'bring the movie-star status to accountants'.
The site has alos been picked up by another accountancy blog here.
On a separate note, TS must apologise to MYOB boss Wayne Schmidt, who picked up the firm's Accountancy Age Award for Small Software Packages but saw his name appear under a picture of someone else in last week's winners' spread in the magazine. Whoops!
