« July 2007 | Main | September 2007 »
Radio star Warren is one of us
Accountants love accreditations and letters after their
names, but a Yorkshire-based chartered accountant is breaking away from conventional
ACMAs, ACAs and CAs to scrum down with a new body.
Warren - who covers top-flight rugby league for BCB and also presents the station's monthly 'Business Matters' programme and has interviewed key national and regional figures in his four-year tenure - is doing the profession's hard-earned image of getting well-paid for doing very little no good.
Dave, just do what the rest of the great and the good do and take advantage of a corporate box. Then you can watch as much rugby as you want! If your firm hasn't got a corporate box, then you can always ping one in. All you've got to do is pick up a big corporate client or two and you're laughing.
Stella Fearnley's creative input
In case you missed it, fair value accounting came in for another bashing this week as markets went into meltdown because of the sub-prime mortgage crisis.
Anyway, in the wake of the financial chaos this stirring ode, to the tune of West Ham FC anthem 'I'm forever blowing bubbles', found its way to TS Towers from the 'pen' of accounting academic Stella Fearnley:
Song for IASB and FASB
Our accounting's blowing bubbles
Profit bubbles in the air
They grow so high
Nearly reach the sky
And then your pensions
fade and die
Fortune's now declining
Why should we two care?
We'll just keep on blowing bubbles
And converge you everywhere
Bentley Jennison's quick thinking pays off
What was it about Bentley Jennison that attracted RSM?
After all, the network is a good deal bigger (seventh
globally) than Bentley Jennison (14th in the
One thing that may have been attractive was the speed with
which they seized the opportunity.
Tony Stockdale, the managing partner at BJ, sent an email to
RSMI head Jean Stephens the day he found out about Robson Rhodes pulling out of
its deal with RSM McGladrey and merging with Grant Thornton, asking if he could
come and meet her.
Not only that, but he sent the e-mail from his laptop at
Heathrow airport at 2pm on that Sunday. We knew the firm was a quick mover, but
even so.
Asked why RSM went for Bentley Jennison, Tony was brief and to the point on an Accountancy Age TV special: 'Because we were the best.'
Sherlock Strikes Back
Neil Sherlock has spoken. Readers will remember TS noting that Neil, a head regulatory honcho at KPMG, had run against Boris Johnson in the 1980s for the presidency of the Oxford Union. Neil won. Tim Hames, the Times writer, mentioned the battle in his column, adding in relation to Sherlock's current role: 'How the mighty are fallen.'
Sherlock has issued a retort: '[Tim] is a very amusing man. Perhaps he was merely implying that being a partner doesn't quite hit the public highlights of running for mayor.'
Neil
has close ties with the Lib Dems, having been a parliamentary candidate in the
1990s and worked with the last three leaders on speeches, among other things.
Would he run for Mayor? 'I can resist all those sorts of offers. There's plenty to do in the exciting world of accounting regulation.'
ACCA Goodies get on their bikes for charity
If TS flagged up every charitable event undertaken by the
profession there would be no time for finding out funny and silly stuff you lot
get up to.
Colin goes sailing in Cowes
Colin curses pirates and landlubbers during Cowes week. Click on the pic or here.
Jolly boating weather for Johnny Vaughan
Well, the sun has finally come out after months of rain, and
what better way to celebrate than a corporate jolly.
It was in this spirit that TS pounced on an invitation from
software company bluQube to cruise around at
TS had a wonderful time, working on its suntan and eating
fried chicken while lesser plebs were slogging away in the office.
The only gripe TS has is that, just a day earlier,
TV-turned-radio star Johnny Vaughan had been swanning around on the same boat
with bluQube boss Simon Kearsley.
Johnny must have been very disappointed to miss the
opportunity to meet TS in person. TS could have spent the whole day illuminating
the breakfast show host with the latest gossip in the accounting world.
Then again, maybe it was better that TS went on a different day...
Sherlock Hames Affair
What did the luminaries of the profession do before they were famous, TS sometimes wonders?
End of the road?
TS sometimes finds the boss to be less than understanding when we hand in huge bills for late night taxis. Well, how else would we get back to TS mansions after a spot of 'contact building'?
The taxman has, however, put even more of a kibosh on our comfortable trips home after releasing a stern piece of guidance on cabs home.
It says you can only claim an exemption from the usual tax charges on the benefit if it's an irregular occurrence, you've been working a lot later than usual and public transport has stopped.
As you can imagine, TS always 'works' late, so we'd be osafe on that
count alone. But there is something we found especially harsh. There's
an exception made if it's unreasonable to expect someone to use public
transport.
It then lists some rubbish excuses that don't count: where you've had
to travel home from work in the dark, where you've had a long working
day and are tired, have a heavy briefcase or have to travel by public
transport to a station that is unmanned.
TS finds all of these excuses work with the boss, so why not with the taxman?
ICAEW's controversial Malaysian ad 'a one off'
TS asked the ICAEW whether it would pull the ad or stick to
its 'marketing principles'
'The ad was a one-off, it won't be running again,' replied a
'tute spokeswoman.
A one-off?
Anyway, TS will keep an eye on how the 'tute continues its Malaysian campaign, and others, very closely.
Advisers keep mum over rich clients
More fun stuff from our friends at HMRC.
A feasability study commissioned by the taxman entitled 'Researching the Wealthy' made for interesting - if not predictable - reading.
The section called 'barriers and facilitators to participation, Gatekeepers' contained what TS thought was the bleedin' obvious:
'One aspect of the role of PAs, solicitors and accountants was described as managing access to wealthy individuals...In addition agents were described as responsible for ensuring that fiancial affairs of their clients are sunject to minimal external scrutiny. As a result participants in the study felt that even where very wealthy individuals did not opt out of the research at the initial stage, recruiting them would involve persuading gatekeepers of the legitimacy and worth of the study.'
You're a secretive bunch, eh? It should have been called: 'Not Researching the Wealthy'.
Tax planner fails to plan his own tax
A good spot from TS' friends over at Financial Director.
John Viola, a director of tax planning consultants VM Media, was disqualified from acting as a director for seven years by the Insolvency Service for, wait for it, not dealing with the company's tax affairs. To the tune of a quarter of a million pounds.
Could you see that one coming?
VAT’s the recipe for success
We’ve heard of cooking the books, but rustling up a VAT of baby food is just ridiculous.
Andrea Rose-Love, a VAT inspector and mum to 18-month-old son Zack, has won a competition to provide one of her favourite kiddy-food recipes to Heinz.
Andrea prepares food from scratch for Zack every day, with Broccoli and cauliflower winning the competition judges’ hearts (and stomachs).
Perhaps the taxman will see fit to move Andrea onto Rusk-assessment, or her expertise in blending could come in handy with HMRC’s ‘smoothie-spotting’ brigade. ‘Remember, fruit and veg VAT free, smoothies not so’ that’s what Andrea has under a magnet on her fridge, reckons TS.
Deity business at ICAS
In TS’ opinion, institutes have always been held in high regard - usually by themselves - but a sharp little birdie revealed that ICAS got the ultimate thumbs up from one set of visitors. Apparently Chinese book balancers made a visit to the Edinburgh HQ a priority, describing it as ‘a holy place’.
As the world’s first professional body of accountants, which received its Royal Charter in 1854, ICAS deserves some credit, but does this mean the sick will arrive at the institute’s gates in hope of having their maladies cured? Will the blind be able to see and the crippled walk again?
Coda goes loopy on Youtube
TS loves those japesters over at business software experts Coda.
Not content with their CIMA-backed Extreme Accounting website, the nutty Northerners have produced a corporate video that can only be described as.....different.
They've obviously not got much on at the mo, still TS hates nothing more than SoftCos taking themselves too seriously, so good effort chaps and chapesses.
If you win (or perish the thought, lose) any clients off the back of it, please let us know!
View the vid here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2eM2GfOYrQ
Colin's amateur KPMG drama
Colin has decided to take a part in KPMG's first am-dram show. Funnily enough, it's not going too well. View his rehersal here or click the pic.
KPMG stages event
TS is more convinced than ever that inside every accountant lies a burning desire to burst forth into song and soliloquy.
This long-held conviction was cemented when we found out about KPMG’s debut stage production taking place this week, with its version of the bard’s Much Ado About Nothing.
Some speculate about which partners fancy themselves feisty enough to step into the hose of Benedick of Padua.
Is there a partner fair enough to play the virtuous hero? TS has often wondered why firms would tread the boards via such a society. Why not a rowing club, or a fencing group?
Perhaps it is to satisfy the inner stage lustings of those who otherwise meander through their lives in dull grey suits.
Then again, maybe for KPMG it just wants to compete with PwC which already has its own well established annual panto.
Surely KPMG could try something else, something new and novel, and maybe even, cool!
TS thinks the stage act is really tired already . . . soooo last
season. They should try bike riding instead, we hear the tour is short
of a few riders.
It’s a date then, Darling
So the pre-Budget report is going to take place in October, our esteemed new chancellor Alistair Darling confirmed to the expectant masses last week.
Moving the PBR forward a few months wasn’t that much of a surprise, as the whole world had been expecting as much after former UK FD Gordon Brown made a ‘cryptic’ reference to an October PBR in parliament.
Well, the whole world except the Treasury grunts that is. Following Brown’s little quip in parliament, TS had called the Treasury up immediately, only to
be told that Brown had merely made a ‘slip of the tongue’ and that no
date for the PBR had been set.
Fast forward a fortnight and guess what, Mr Darling makes a speech
where announces that the PBR will be in, that’s right, October.
Surprise, surprise. TS hopes that the Treasury spin doctors will be a
little more up-to-date on important events in the future or a bit
less disingenuous.
TS Digest's FD's marketing ploy
You can imagine TS’s excitement when a note dropped through the letter box confirming that our ‘chance of becoming a prize winner is now 100% confirmed’. You can guess the source.
More interesting though, is the author of the letter: ‘As Reader’s Digest’s finance director, I would be authorized to transfer funds … should you become the £250,000 first prize winner.’ So far, our attempts to contact the FD in question have yielded only silence. So if you’re out there Mr R Tartagha please do get in touch.
We don’t want your £250,000 (well we do, but we’re not prepared to
beg). We’re not even interested in acquiring a copy of 1,001 Home
Remedies even though your offer of ‘seven days approval with no
obligation to buy’ is tempting.
We just want to want to know whether lending apparent credibility to mass-mailed competitions was in the job description.
Warburton and The Age's criminal error
Accountancy Age recently reported the news that HMRC wanted to take money direct from people’s bank accounts. Mike Warburton of Grant Thornton, ever the moderate, commented: ‘Dick Turpin was hanged for helping himself to people’s money.’
It turns out Mike (pictured here as a dandy highwayman) has now been set straight on the issue, by an accountant who is Dick Turpin’s direct descendant.
For those of you a bit rusty on your history or perhaps working in an
overseas finance function Dick Turpin was the legendary roadside
wrangler who preyed on well- heeled passengers from the back of his
four-footed friend during the 1700s.
Keith Turpin is apparently a partner at DTE Corporate Finance, and
wrote to Accountancy Age and Mike: ‘Turpin was never convicted of
being a robber, highwayman or a murderer. He was convicted of and
hanged for being a horse-rustler.’
‘I stand corrected,’ said GT’s shrinking violet.
Mayor's merger madness
The great and good were all in attendance at a bash thrown by the Lord Mayor in London last week ‘to mark the contribution of the accountancy profession’.
Having gathered various regulators and institute chiefs together, John Stuttard wasn’t about to waste his platform and he didn’t: telling the assembled institute bigwigs to stop squabbling and merge. Half the room were left squirming in their chairs while the other half (the non-institute half) goaded them.
Current ICAS president Isobel Sharp applied her best poker face as
Public Oversight Board chief Paul George did his best to wind her up.
Her chief exec Anton Colella and past president Ian Robertson were
diplomacy personified in the bar afterwards. CIMA’s Charles Tilley
played down the speech as did CIPFA president John Butler.
The views of no fewer than five former ICAEW presidents in the room
(Graham Ward, Peter Wyman, Michael Groom, Roger Lawson and Baroness
Noakes) went sadly unrecorded.
