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Big Four back in with MCA

Cast your minds back to June 2004. P Diddy helped Mario Winans top the UK charts with I Don’t Wanna Know.
OK, you might not remember that, but, at the time, Accountancy Age ran a story suggesting Ernst & Young was on the cusp of re-entering the consulting market. Nick Land denied this, of course, but the Age wryly pointed out that the situation was quite murky. For example, PwC, which had quit the market, was still a member of the Management Consultancies Association.

So with all the big noises from the firms trumpeting how good they are at consulting (again), TS noted that the Big Four were back on board with the MCA.
KPMG and E&Y rejoined the body last year apparently. Still, there’s one sign that the firms are back into consulting: when they all partake in sister title Management Consultancy’s top firms table.
The big question is when Diddy will make a UK comeback, after cancelling his latest tour.

May 31, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

ACCA is a vision in red

OK, so TS dished out a bit of stick in the direction of the ICAEW over its £65,000 new logo, when we designed our own new (and better) version at a fraction of the cost.
Now ACCA has followed suit and attempted to design a new logo (top), it’s safe to say TS’ flabber has been well and truly gasted.
For a full £20k more than the ICAEW’s new version of Economia, the certifieds have come up with, erm, a red box with ACCA in white letters. It looks a bit like the old Soviet ‘CCCP’, which in fairness was pretty cool.
They could have gone down the AB  A route and come up with ‘A[C reversed]CA’. TS would have knocked that up for a tenner.
But when you think the body used to be called the Chartered Association of Certified Accountants ­ or CACA ­ the are heading in the right direction.

They could have gone down the ABBA route and come up with ‘A[C reversed]CA’. TS would have knocked that up for a tenner.
But when you think the body used to be called the Chartered Association of Certified Accountants ­ or CACA ­ they are at least heading in the right direction.

May 31, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Paul Gray late on own tax filing?

Public Accounts Committee hearings always serve up entertaining fare, and last week’s appearance by HM Revenue & Customs chairman Paul Gray made sure the latest meeting was no exception.
Asked why so many companies failed to file VAT and corporate tax returns on time, Gray admitted when filing his own self-assessment return, sending in documentation ‘was not always a priority’, before quickly adding that he had not had to pay a penalty ‘recently’. TS was intrigued, somewhat by the hint of non-compliance, but more so by the fact that Gray ­ an HMRC stalwart ­ should have to file an SA form at all. Before his official appointment as HMRC boss, did Gray do a bit of consulting on the side?

May 31, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tax blows hot and cold

Let no man say that the esteemed VAT special commissioners are under-fed. If they’re not sipping smoothies, they are munching Jaffa Cakes, all in the name of  deciding whether these tasty items should be zero or standard-rated.
Recently, the specials delved into the lip-smacking world of hot toasties and grilled paninis supplied by the good folks of Coffee Republic. The mocha-makers were pushing to have the hot goodies zero-rated, but after much deliberation the tax beaks decided that the eats should really be standard rated, as they were heated with the ultimate aim of being consumed above ‘ambient air temperature’.

This started TS thinking: TS’ local deli promises piping hot bread-based treats, but by the time they finally arrive they have gone cold. TS always thought this was a case of rubbish service, but maybe it has been an elaborate tax dodge. Now, where did TS put Paul Gray’s number…

May 31, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

ICAEW council asks TS for help

In what was a lively session at the ICAEW’s council last week arguing the pros and cons of public disciplinary tribunals, TS knew things were unlikely to quieten down when the debate moved on to whether the council should be turfed out of its room to allow the construction of a new-fangled ‘information centre’.
When talks began it became clear that discussing the matter would be impossible unless the financial aspects of the building work could be part of the public session.
As the matter intensified, a clearly frustrated Alan Livesey said the council should ask TS for its views. TS didn’t get to orate from the lectern ­ instead the debate was shunted into the private session. TS’s public views are clearly unconstitutional, no doubt.

May 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Colin makes a carbon footprint

Colin attempts to reduce his carbon footprint, with typical consequences. Click here to view the cartoon.

May 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Siim Kallas does a 'Borat'

TS went to the European Parliament last week, as entertaining a place as any you could think of. Such is its splendour that, in the middle of a committee discussing how much EU money was mis-spent, men in little dickie bows would come round and constantly refill TS’s tea-cup.
Very satisfactory, we thought, almost forgetting what it was the committee was discussing.

Ah, yes, waste. Siim Kallas, the EU commissioner responsible for audit and fraud busting, was speaking to the committee, and TS has found out his nickname. Siim is known as Borat, according to our sources.
It doesn’t take long to work out why. He has a big bushy moustache, and he says ‘Thank you very much’ with a rapid gusto reminiscent of our Kazakhstani friend. TS was also sure we heard him mention something about goats during the meeting. Must have been something to do with those pesky farm subsidies.

May 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Smith & Williamson loses case: good news for clients?

Tough week for Smith & Williamson as its insolvency guru Tony Murphy lost in the High Court over the controversial Powerhouse case, which threatened to bring down the property industry (so the property industry said).
One party involved in the case commented to TS that S&W is extremely strong in wealth management, and no doubt many clients have been recommended to make property investments as part of a rounded portfolio. So S&W might have felt itself a little conflicted during the case. S&W’s clients might have felt a lot worse if the courts decided in favour of the trusted financial advisers.

May 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

FD herd gets into a panic

TS is well-used to the sound of squeaking buttocks being clenched by vulnerable accountants when it enters a room, but at least this intrepid hack is usually allowed to roam the plains frequented by its accountancy prey…
TS had a little chuckle at Tetra Pak’s finance director Alistair Davidson who has clammed up and refused to let TS hear his views at a best practices conference being held during the next two days.
And TS couldn’t help but be further tickled when the FDs of Linklaters, BASF and the accounting director of Heineken also chickened out.

As FDs from all over Europe shrank from the prospect of going toe-to-toe with TS, it turns out that just like a herd of jittery antelope ­ where one goes the rest will follow ­ all of the number crunchers closed their presentations to your faithful newshound.
You would think that the poor cherubs were scared of being lampooned on the back page or something.

May 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

BP's FD: Man or myth?

Now Lord Browne has resigned from BP in the full glare of the media spotlight, what next for our favourite reclusive finance director Byron Grote?
Is his position even more under threat now that his brother-in-arms headed for
the hills earlier than he was expected to?
Even our national counterparts have plucked up the courage to ask what’s going on with the Grotemeister, but he’s still refusing to make his intentions known.
TS has dogged Dr Grote’s footsteps for ages, but the wily oilman continues to slip through our fingers despite our best efforts.

BP’s financial mastermind has somehow managed to keep one step ahead .
People are starting to wonder whether Dr Grote is a mythical creature rather like the Yeti or the Loch Ness monster ­ has anyone ever actually seen him in the flesh?
Analysts have hinted that the elusive Grote may still be sitting
on his FD throne when the sun finally burns out in five billion years or so…

May 17, 2007 | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack