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Colin composes his CV
Click on the cartoon strip or here to read Colin's latest escapade
Varney picks Customs over Revenue
In November of last year, TS suggested that Sir David Varney was rarely to be seen at big tax events, and looked like he would soon be out on his ear.
And so it proved, as is usual with TS predictions, (well, not all of our predictions have proved correct we’re still waiting for ‘Red’ Dawn Primarolo to be reshuffled).
At the time, it was clear that Sir David was not getting on well with the select committees, who seemed to exasperate him. That’s the point, you could say.
But there were also other things bubbling under the surface at HM Revenue & Customs, as we report this week.
Not least among them was Sir David’s line, which charmed former Inland Revenue types. ‘If I want something done, I go to Customs; if I want help with a crossword, I go to the Revenue,’ he said.
A phrase which suggests that door-busting Customs has certainly got the upper hand at HMRC over Revenue officials.
The Sportsman's existence a dead cert?
Gambling finance professionals (surely an oxymoron?) would have heard with dismay that daily paper The Sportsman had gone into administration.
Up against The Racing Post, it struggled during its few months’ existence.
Some have said that the paper should never have got out of the paddocks, and its owners, including Ben and Zac Goldsmith, and a syndicate led by Ben Arbib, must be as sick as parrots.
The smart money was on rival publishers to take hold of the reins from administrators UHY Hacker Young partners Andrew Andronikou and Peter Kubik.
However, William Hill refused to take a bet from TS on The Sportsman’s future. Who else will take a punt, TS muses?
'Allo 'allo 'allo
TS paid a visit to New Scotland Yard recently, not on charges of anti-social behaviour (it happens), but to pay a visit to the Metropolitan Police’s director of resources Keith Luck.
Keith is a busy guy, looking after finance, vehicles, catering, property and goodness knows what else. But he hasn’t been too busy to update his CV, though.
TS asked Luck for his credentials after an interview, to which the Met’s finance man replied: ‘Of course, I have just updated it recently as it happens’, and promptly had his secretary run-off a few copies.
TS is sure that Luck was just working on his resumé in the interests of good housekeeping, but if any headhunters are interested in the bobbies’ bean counter they are welcome to give TS a call. Finder’s fees in cash or direct debit.
Oh, by the way Keith, TS hears there is a job going at HM Revenue & Customs if you fancy a change of scene.
Aplin’s stuck in the dark ages
Paul Aplin has been at the forefront of online tax filing for years. In his role as deputy chair at the ICAEW tax faculty he recently worked diligently behind the scenes with other tax aficionados to persuade Lord Carter to reverse his tax filing recommendations.
However, news that HM Revenue & Customs had agreed with Lord Carter’s revision of self-assessment filing deadlines did not reach Aplin very easily. While chatting to TS, Aplin realised that his firm, AC Mole & Sons, had no electricity.
TS could not even print out and fax the new deadlines email through to him. Fearing a return to old-fashioned hard copy correspondence must have chilled Aplin to the heart think of all those paper tax returns!
So TS read the press release over the phone to him, which calmed him down slightly. Hours later and Aplin was back online and dealing with the world electronically. Good job it didn’t happen on 31 January.
The Quakers’ sweet tooth
What would Cadbury founders make of the company’s use of a complicated tax avoidance scheme, one wonders?
Cadbury, under the tutelage of Kleinwort Benson, used a loan note scheme to turn its income into capital and then offset its gains against its capital losses.
The company was founded by Quakers, of course. Now what do they believe in? ‘Campaigns for justice, equality and social reform, putting an end to poverty and deprivation,’ one informed source says.
All very worthy aims that complicated tax avoidance schemes do not tend to go hand-in-hand with (they certainly don’t pay for them).
And just so you know this is not just TS’s rabble-rousing point of view, the description of Quaker principles comes, not from us, but from Cadbury’s very own website.
