Last week's PricewaterhouseCoopers panto was the filthiest ever, according to experts on the annual show (ie TS).

Like the News of The World on disgraced Lib Dem MP Mark Oaten, TS cannot bring itself to describe the unspeakable sexual acts that were referenced during the performance. The panto dame, suffice it to say, was also quite shocked, falling as she did to her knees.

But most flabbergasting of all was the description of Silly Billy, the king's servant, who in collecting the town's rent was described as 'the best rent boy we've ever had.'

TS hopes that the 500 or so school kids that went home that night didn't ask: 'What's a rent boy, mummy?'